Part Three

I am relieved to be out of The Ministry of Truth, and am thankfull for O'Brien shifting my life around. I finally see now, how life should be in Oceannia, becuase when ever I have the slightest bit of doubt in my mine I know everything is the way it should be, and for a good purpose. I feel fine. WAR is PEACE, FREEDOM is SLAVERY, and IGNORANCE is STRENGTH. A full on rebellion would have been achieved by now, and what good is changing the world for the "better" when we are being cared for. That is a prophetic slogan to live by, and with that I am thankfull for having Big Brother as our leader, I think it will catch on. I am through with Julia and feel no need to endure in sexuall relation, the world will change for the better, I know this to be so. To keep us happy and knowing we are being guided by a friend who will guide me, that of Big Brother. I am thrilled to finally be free of depressive and oppressive thought. Hail Big Brother!

Part Two Chapter Eight

I was excited when visiting O'Brien, It was even more exciting to belive in the little luxury he has. I deffinitely surprised me when turning off the telescreen, and explained that this could oly be done for half an hour. He spoke of Emmanuel Goldstein and how the brotherhood too was real. I admitted that I was a follower, and mentioned Julia as well. He walked me through the initiation prossess and I sing a song along with him to comfirm I am part of the order. He handed me a book copy from Emmanual Goldsteinthat showed his intentions, priciples, what is right and wrong.

Part Two Chapter Seven

I awoke one night above Mr. Charrington's shop, I dreamt of my mother, and I felt grief to believe that I might have been the one to cause her death. I understand that my subconscious is the treu means to keep me sane, and know of the truth. Now that I am residing in the shop, I understand the chances of getting caught have risen.

Part Two Chapter Ten

I awoke to the singing voice of the red armed woman. It was the second time that I heard her and I think that she is lush. Julia awoke and we both stared into her grace.

Part Two Chapter Nine

I am though with work; it is too much sometimes especially during HateWeek. And "switching enemies" was the least of what I had expected. O'brien bequeathed a book to me entitled The Theory and Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism. I was reading it above Mr. Charrington's shop and I am certain that it is false. AsI was reading this tiring section, Julia comes in and cuddles with me. I begin to read to her, but felt as though she was in slumber. I turned to her, and there she was asleep. Her state soon transfered to mine, and I began to dose off wondering, how sanity is not statistical.

Part Two Chapter Six

The day of O'brien's meeting finally came, and the best part about it was that he was rebel like me. We met in the hallway of the Ministry of Truth. It was as this day was destined after my thought crime I commited, and to think that he wil be a powerful ally indeed. I hope that the Ministry of Love holds a fate greater than this wonderful meeting. I feel glorious that he is on my side.

Part Two Chapter Five

Everything seems to be on steroids when preperation fo hateweek comes. I had a strange and hopefull dream that Katherine died, giving me the true means to be with Julia and marry her. I grow more fond of the small rooom I purchased above Mr. Charrington's room. Streamers are hung everywhere by Mr. Parsons. I caught him and his children singing the "Hate Song" and cringed from the sight. I discussed the link btween me and O'brien but she seems to ignore tmy statemanet and began speaking of Party inventions. I mustered the bit of anger I had and scolded her. Her only ocupation seems to dwell with us and nothing else. She rebels by stealing and having sex with members witch is not the very most of what a rebel shoud be doing.

Part Two Chapter Four

I rented a small room above Mr. Charrington's shop. I don't know why really. Maybe because I find it peaceful and can use it as a better meeting place for Julia and I. Hate week preparation is stressful. And whats even more stressful is the lack of meeting between her and I. It is due to her period. I wish we could see each other more, I miss her dearly. One day of what seemed quite a long time, she come to the room and brings the most luscious of foods. Coffee, bread, even chocolate. She obtains this furtively, I know for sure, because only the inner party members consume such higher rating of food. She never ceases to impress me, even if she is not really one of the most beautiful of women. I wish the moments together would last forever, in peace.

Part Two Chapter Three

After our sexual encounter we began to meeting each other several times. I was happy with Julia, but can still not get over the fact that she does not really want to rebel against Big Brother. She only want to overcome the system and satisfy herself. She has no intention of future rebellion. But tends to think of a brighter future than I. I do not know how she is content. Though our relationship is of love, I can use her as a formidable source of information and learn about the party. I told her of my dream about Katherine, and said that it did I did not really push her off the cliff. I does and will not make any difference in my life and will still be controlled my Big Brother.

Part Two Chapter Two

Everything was going as planned and we were not raising any thought of suspicion what so ever. I keep feeling like microphones are around as but am sure there isn't, for the dark haired girl seems to know what she is doing. I also was beginning to feel that the dark haired girl is not a Party spy but a possible rebel. I was in the country side and soon after we arrived at the woods and started walking. I noted that she was part of a junior Anti-sex League by the sash on her. I discovered her name Julia, and every step aside her was sensual to me, witch soon led to making love in the woods. I was excited when she told me she had slept with many men. It meant other people too were rebelling against Big Brother in this way. This meeting was identical to my dream. Indeed it was a special moment for me.

Part Two Chapter One

Today, at least today I am told to believe in "feelings" that the dark haired girl has for me. I was working in the morning, and the dark haired girl was present. She fell, I helped her up, and then passed me a note saying "I love you". It however is a great feeling, knowing that I am being thought upon, let alone cared for by a woman. I spoke with her at a lunch table, she seemed discrete as I, and told me to meet her at Victory Square. At the square I witnessed Eurasian prisoners, who were not at all welcomed by a crowd of people. At the square we conversed and she told me to take the train from Paddington Station to the countryside. I felt eager to learn more about this mysterious girl. And for a moment before our departure, held hands. I only felt so natural to do so, and was givin a reason to be alive amongst here and her.

Part One Chapter Eight

I took a stroll through the prole district and saw a old man. I thought of how he could possibly tell of the past, how good it must have been. I was disappointed when he told me, for it as rubbish. I went in the pub thinking the proles were the only link of the past but then knew that they would forget with the life that we now live in. After I went to the secondhand store to buy a coral center and a paper weight made of glass. I smirked, when I thought of committing suicide. The dark haired girl had been following me right after I left the store, on my way home. I just have to believe in O'Brien and hope that the place where there is no darkness is true.

Part One Chapter Seven

The only way for life to become better, lies with the proles. They make of most Oceania and can easily overcome the Police, The brotherhood cannot do such an act for they do not have the will. But the proles themselves have a downside. They are not at all interested in rebellion, and are not even aware that their lives are under the control of the Party. I have read a child's history book, interesting, but still did not contain any information about the time before, long before Big Brother. The memory of the original Revolution leaders is burned in my mind, how false the party was for "Arresting the leaders of the cultural backlash". They were only put aside.

Part One Chapter Six

It sickens me to think of our society as a place where sex is only good for the production of party members. I think we should be free a little and when ever we please, do what we please. It is the only bit of humanity and happiness that remains within us. Once sex is gone, like all the other human ways, there will be no species of human, but that of something else. I hated Katherine and frankly I never really knew why I married her. Was it because I needed to fit in with our current society? Was it because marrying her kept me from doing acts of rebellion that I might have thought before? I wish she were dead so that I may move on to another love that is true, that of, possibly, the dark haired girl. I once was with a prole prostitute. She was indeed ugly but I did it anyway as a small form of rebellion. I long for the day to curse out my mind in public to relieve the anger and depression I have within, at least for a while. I would soon tire, and become depressed, knowing that this life is unbearable and uneasy.

Part One Chapter Five

I had lunch with Syme, a very intelligent man. His job is to revise the dictionary of Newspeak. I think that with his intelligence of the Newspeak, thinking how it will truly narrow the thought of though crime and end rebellion, would soon become vaporized. I was also accompanied by Parsons, a chubby man whose wife is Mrs. Parsons. He discussed how splendid it was for his daughter, who recently followed a suspected foreigner, to turn him in to the police, for his boots were not of origin. A sad though came of Mr. Parson's fate, how he will be turned in like his wife, by his own children when the time comes. He however has a chance of staying in Oceania over his wife, and probably will not get turned in since the children obviously recognize their father's lauding for their actions. He apologized for his son's action towards me and I assume it's false. Soon after, the enthusiastic Loudspeak stated that there had been a 20% increase of the chocolate rations, when in truth was a reduction from that day before. People accepted the statement, and joyfully without any suspicion otherwise. After I felt as though someone was watching me. Sure enough it was the beautiful dark haired girl that I deeply hate. I think she is a Party agent.

Part One Chapter Four

During December 19, 1983, I refer to Comrade Withers who was on of Big Brother's officials and has been vaporized. I came up with a clever Idea to substitute his praising as a loyal party member by inventing a new Comrade. Comrade Ogilvy was his name. I made him an Ideal Member of the party by stating that he opposed sex. During my work session I noted that Comrade Tillotson, was speaking closley into his speak write and gave a swift glance in my direction. It was as though his life depended on his work, as though his whole charcter was built from suspision. It is uncomfrotable to think of the thousands of workers who rewrite history, only to fit into the thoughts of the party. It is an ill part of proletarianism.

Part One Chapter Three

I dreamt of my mother and my sister in a dark mysterious place located below me, they looked up towards me and at that moment began sinking in a saloon on a ship in murky green waters, I dreamt of a place, a Golden Kingdom where the dark haired girl takes of her clothes and runs to my embrace. I awoke with the word "Shakespeare" on my lips, and moments later the telescreen, accompanied by a high pitched whistle, turns on to start another horrible exercise before another day of work.

Part One Chapter two

I was Frightened By the sound of knocking at my door for I surely believed I would be tortures or killed for what i have done. A sudden moment of relief filled me as I opened the door to find Mrs. Parsons who needed help with her kitchen sink. As I was working on it, I noticed the behavior of her children whom were for the Party and law enforcers such as the thought police. I managed to fix the sink without a problem, and before I left I was struck with a projectile from a toy gun by Mrs. Parson's son. I did not fret and left. I felt sorry for Mrs. Parsons because it was as though she knew what would become of them, and how likely it will be for her own children to swiftly turn her in, for something she would probably never commit.

Part One Chapter One

It is April 4th 1994 and I have done an unbearable mistake that will surely result in my sheer defeat. I am over nor rid with the order of Big Brother and decided it best to be done, DOWN WITH BIG BROTHER, over and over til the page was half written. Deep down I know this is all sick and beyond cruel, and yet it is impossible to fix, adapt to, at least on my behalf. Everything is but a sharp pain of abstinence for normality. The longing is stiff and has a life of its own, nowhere near the one I am currently in. Perhaps not everyone is not brainwashed at least not now, and feels the same as I do discretely.